Letting Go…
For 12 hours one day last week, I looked up at this ceiling of a yurt wondering why the universe took someone from the world way too soon.
About 60 people in the yurt & close to 400 virtually, feeling the same way, came to say goodbye to a man who was a teacher, healer, guide, colleague, mentor, father, grandfather, friend, stepdad, husband. He touched thousands of people all over the world as an author and messenger of Plant Spirit Medicine, an elder shaman medicine man in the Huichol tradition & founder of the healing center, Blue Deer Center in the Catskills of NY.
To my husband & I, he was the soft spoken devoted man who laughed at my family’s silliness, loved my mother in law dearly & had powerful words of wisdom & support for us.
His funeral services were in his Huichol tradition and included public and private portions & included phases throughout the night and into the following morning. In the Huichol tradition, the funerary rites help his soul embrace the accomplishments of his life and also assisted in confronting and resolving life-blindness, while facing remorse that was not addressed during his lifetime. We were told that in order for his soul to be on this journey of his life, to a resolution, and then onward to the House of Ancestors, it is imperative that all those who knew & loved him, let their own resistance to letting him go, go. If anyone held on to him in their heart, it would make it harder for his soul to move on to his final destination.
During the sharing portions of the service, people he touched had the opportunity to share how he impacted their life. Many shared that they were at a crossroads of helplessness, lost in their life’s path or had unexplained or untreatable medical conditions until he came into their life. Through his teachings & healings, some who were debilitated were now able to move about more freely, some gained more self worth and belief in themselves allowing them to live a more unburdensome life & others discovered their path to become a spiritual healer along with him. While it lent to a very difficult and emotionally draining day, the process helped everyone to be present, feel their grief, and embrace the process of ‘letting go’.
Since he traveled often for his work, we would only see him 1-2 times a year for holidays. During those times, he laughed, shared stories, & during our legal & child custody challenges gave us spiritual support, wisdom & powerful words to remain astute. When he was with us, he was able to relax and enjoy the days as none other than the soft spoken man who loved Sean’s mom. Because of Covid, we hadn’t seen him for 2 years until this past December, when he & my mother in law spent a week with us, thankfully.
You might be wondering why I haven’t written his name in this post and it is because I am honoring the Huichol tradition. The shaman who oversaw the service and funerary rites explained it best, “The soul and spirit of who we knew as our beloved has moved on. In the experience of the tradition, for a period of one year a special space is created to allow the deceased to move more fully into the House of the Ancestors. To assist this process the living are asked to refrain from engaging in stories about him, the use of pictures, videos, writing, recordings, and even caution in using his name. Expressing grief without ‘grasping’ for the one who has passed helps support the ancestralization process, through letting go of the individual. To engage otherwise creates attachments to the person, which can interfere with this spiritual journey. After this time period, the memories, teachings and gifts that we have received from his life will return in a more potent way and will fully honor him for his service and sacrifices. In this way, we can let the wisdom of death be present in our lives to transform and help us.
According to the information shared on his webiste, about the Huichol Medicine Path,
“To become a mara’akame – a Huichol medicine person – one must be called by the gods and ancestors.
“One night an indigenous Huichol man or woman, living in a village high in the Western Sierra Madre of Mexico, has a special dream. The next day he or she visits a wise elder and recounts the dream. The elder says the young one is being called to become a mara’akame – a medicine person.
The young one finds a guide and embarks on several years of apprenticeship. There is much prayer, fasting, and arduous pilgrimages to sacred mountains, forests, deserts, caves, and the Ocean. There is also arduous work dealing with emotional blocks, fears, and areas of blindness. If the apprentice works hard and stays true to the path, eventually he or she is declared ready to be a candidate for initiation. The village gathers in a ceremonial center for three days. An elaborate ritual is performed. If the ritual is successful, the apprentice is now recognized as a mara’akame. They will spend the rest of their life as a resource for the community, bringing blessed healing, wisdom, and ceremony from the gods and ancestors to the people.”
This story has been re-enacted countless times over thousands of years. It has provided health and a good life through times of privation and times of fruitfulness. But, until recently, this medicine has not been available to almost anyone in Western culture. Huichol medicine is deeply effective in our culture. It nourishes body and spirit in ways much needed by modern Western people.”
For myself, my husband and our children, we were able to experience the impact he made in this world and to honor him and his work, I am sharing here, for I believe, that there are some, in my orbit, who could benefit from the offerings and services his community provides virtually and in person. May his memory live on by spreading the word onto others who can benefit from the healing powers of the community he built with others living in the Huichol tradition.
Blue Deer Center: For healing & transformation https://www.bluedeer.org/
Sacred Fire: For connection, relationship, and healing https://sacredfire.org/
Plant Spirit Medicine: learn about the healing power of plants—not merely their physical medicinal properties, but the deeper wisdom and gifts that they offer. https://www.soundstrue.com/products/plant-spirit-medicine