the thing about f e a r
For most of us, we likely have experienced both fo those sayings in our lives.
F E A R. It can be paralyzing…
Like the first day of my professional career out of college when I was trained to answer the phones as an intake coordinator at a behavioral health insurance company...my fear got a hold of me and I could not pick up the phone to answer the caller on the other line. Answering the phone was my number one job priority! I recall being frozen thinking to myself “what if I say the wrong thing”, “What if I don’t know the answer”, “what if they're in crisis and I can’t help them?” Thankfully, I had an amazing boss who coached me through my fear and reassured me that I was trained and could handle the job. Once I was able to move past the fear and take action, I had no qualms and even excelled in my role, leading me to multiple promotions within the first 5 years of my career.
F E A R. It can be exhilarating...
Like the time my introverted self decided to sign up for a co-ed softball league in Boston, not knowing another soul doing the same. My friends thought I was crazy meeting a group of unknown people somewhere in the city for the first practice. I ended up meeting some really wonderful people who led me to my now ex husband and through us, the silver lining, connected people to others they would never have met who have since married and are raising families. Fear is a choice. You can stand and let it consume you leading you to stay in place or you can push past it, allowing change that could lead to additional growth and/or opportunities. Fear, for the most part, has immobilized me at times in my life. I spoke about fear during a FaceBook live recently. Click here to view. Some of my fears swirling in my head about launching my business included the fear of being judged, the fear of failing, the fear of success, the fear of being misunderstood and the fear of feeling vulnerable.
Can you think of a time in your life when you allowed fear to consume you? Is there something in your life today that’s preventing you not to push past the ‘what if’s’ of fear?
F E A R can certainly bring a wave of feeling overwhelmed…
If that is you right now take a deep breath in through your nose. Hold, count to three and release through the mouth. Now tell yourself, “ I am ok”. Three times. Take some time to reflect. Grab a notebook or your phone to journal. Find a quiet peaceful place, maybe somewhere outside or a spot in your home. When my children were toddlers, my spot was my closet where it was quiet and free of the children because the door was too heavy for them to open on their own! Nowadays, I have options now that they’re much older. Take another deep breath and allow your mind to go there. Reflect. What is it that creates a sense of fear. Allow all the what if’s to cycle through your head and write them down. The initial what if’s are typically on the negative side. Take another deep breath and think of the positive what if’s. What if you moved past this fear, what would come of it in a positive way? Take a moment and visualize what would happen for you moving past the fear. Sometimes we need to look at things from a different view by choosing to see beyond what is right in front of us. Fear. You can choose to get past it. It might take time. It might take work. It might take some help. But you can do it. But you have to want to first and choose to second.
Poet Erin Hanson who has now one of the most famous quotes related to moving past your fear wrote,
“There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask, “What if I fall”
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”
Imagine the freedom you will have relinquishing the control your fear has over you and what life would be without it. Now take a deep breath through your nose, hold for three, and release through the mouth. That is what it feels like! Freedom from fear.